I have to be honest, for much of my life, I have struggled with feeling very alone.  You see, I’m that nerdy little girl who spent her days reading a book instead of going to the mall–and, being quite an introvert, I’ve struggled with making friends.  Even when I have amazing friends, still I sometimes (more than I can admit without feeling rather ashamed) feel alone, like I’m on the outskirts looking in, like I’m the charity case that people invite as an afterthought.

Just recently–it’s taken me a surprisingly long time to come to this realization–I discovered that this is a lie.

Yes, I may be quiet and have a less-than-gregarious personality–but I am not a loner, unless I make myself be one.  My friends love me as much as I love them.  And I can be incredibly bold.

My insecurities are just a lie that tries to make me curl up in a little ball inside myself and never go outside again, never try to make new friends, never make an effort to stay in touch with old ones.  I do not have to listen to it, because God is much stronger than my little lie of worthlessness, and He tells me, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Joshua 1:5; Deut. 31:6).

I keep struggling with this, and may for the rest of my life, so I wrote this poem about how I feel alone, but God reminds me that He is with me always.  This poem is called “Clocks,” because I find that their ticking can at times be very comforting, and at times very isolating.


Tick, tick, the clock would sound

Tick, tick, tock–

A man-made mimic of my heart

And each beat cried



Now tick, tick, I hear it still

Reminder of the time

But different now, the beat resounds

Not “one” but

“Yours alone”


Thud, thud–my body’s clock

Though its anthem changed years ago

Still darkness shouts

And tries to revive

The echoes of “alone”


Tick tick, thud thud, a chorus now

Two clocks hang

Two hearts sound

You kill darkness with Your light

And promise me

“Never alone”


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